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What We’re Getting Chicago for its 176th Birthday

Chicago, you’re getting kind of old. But we have a few gifts for you anyway. Today is your special day!

Photograph: Wikimedia Commons

A view of State Street

It’s Chicago’s birthday! 176 years ago today, the City of Chicago was founded and incorporated. We’re in good company too, Tiffany’s & Co has been making ladies swoon for nearly 177 years. The good news is, at 176, we’ve learned some lessons like don’t be fooled by a charming smile and a sweet hairdo (looking at you, Blago). The bad news is we’re in serious debt, our population is rapidly shrinking, and Bill Murray doesn’t even live here anymore.   

In honor of the big day, WBEZ’s The Morning Shift asked a handful of Chicagoans what they’d give the city as a gift. Answers varied from a giant teddy bear to a super bowl.  Here’s what Chicago would add to the list.

A Sugar Daddy.
Look, the city’s got bills to pay. Oslo, Copenhagen, Berlin—you all are older, arguably wiser, and definitely wealthier. Can’t you spare a little dough? What if we threw you a signed Michael Jordan jersey and some deep dish in exchange?

Thomas the Tank Engine.
Unlike the El, he’s always on time.

The Olympics.
Just kidding, we’re really glad that didn’t happen.

Tina Fey.
Because she’s Tina Fey.

A bouquet of flowers from Mariano’s.
Hey, at least they’re not from Dominick’s. 

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