Four Questions for John Waters

The irreverent movie director previews his holiday show at City Winery on December 1.

Illustration: Kagan McLeod

Tell me about your holiday show.

Oh, I’m going to talk about everything from what to do during the holidays if your parents are crazy to gifts that I think are absolutely atrocious, like fruit baskets. Also, gift cards. What a lazy gift. I’ll also talk about how I want to remake my movies [which include Hairspray and Cry-Baby] into Christmas movies. It’s all Christmas all the time!

You’re famous for your lengthy audience Q&A sessions. What’s the most bizarre question you’ve fielded?

A guy in the audience once raised his hand and said, “I’m a straight guy. I’m here with my girlfriend. I’ve never kissed a man before. Can I come up and kiss you?” So of course he did, and everyone in the audience cheered. These young kids, they’re so advanced.

How did your Catholic upbringing affect your view on Christmas?

Well, I used to get confused. I thought that Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, and the Easter Bunny were the Holy Trinity. I would wonder, Is the tooth fairy a saint? Later, when I got older, I used to tell the other kids that the tooth fairy left you a hairdo instead of money. Everyone I knew thought that you’d wake up with a bouffant hairdo from the tooth fairy.

What’s the key to maintaining such a distinguished mustache?

Maybelline Velvet Black eyeliner pencil.

12/1 at 8. $65–$85. City Winery, 1200 W. Randolph. citywinery.com/chicago

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