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Can something as complex as a father's skill be measured? Yes, it can.
by Jeff Ruby
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Nominations for the inaugural class of the Panhandler Hall of Fame
by Jeff Ruby
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High tide for tourists is here. Instead of holing up inside until the last pair of jeans shorts disappears from the streets, The Closer tries it from the other side.
by Jeff Ruby
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You may know that The Closer, when he's not Closing, reviews restaurants. People constantly ask him, "Man, how do I do that?" His answer: Eat like a maniac, and write like you mean it. Oh, and make...
by Jeff Ruby
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Examining Chicago's odds of snaring the 2016 Olympics, factoring in thongs, apathy, and Coolio
by Jeff Ruby
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Lately, I've been thinking about joining a Polar Bear Club—you know, those maniacs who load up on Bloody Marys, strip down to nothing at the North Avenue beach, and hop into the freezing lake for...
by Jeff Ruby
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I think that I shall ne'er behold / a poem, lovely as the ode / on suburbs that will here unfold.
by Jeff Ruby
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All the letters to the magazine that were too good to throw away, now in print
by Jeff Ruby
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Can enlightenment come through pain? The Closer tries self-denial, fatigue, boredom, Ben Affleck movies, and a colonic.
by Jeff Ruby
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Facebook faux pas are impossible to avoid—if you're not 19.
by Jeff Ruby
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