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Four Totally (Not) Serious Ideas for the Obama Library

The Barack Obama Foundation has started accepting design bids for the presidential library on the South Side. Sure, architectural masters are vying for the job. But Chicago has some ideas, too.

Illustration: John Kenzie

“Thanks, Obama” 10-Story Complaint Box

Job got you down? Kids too mouthy? Grocery store stocking too many varieties of nut butters? It’s all Obama’s fault. Here’s where you can let him have it.

Obama Library and General Hospital

Spin through the archives and schedule a wellness visit all in one stop—hey, you’re covered! Prepare for long lines and physicians grumbling about compliance mandates.

Barack Hussein Obama House of Horrors
(sponsored by Fox News)

Spooooky thrills await in the Sebelius Mad Scientist Laboratory, the Religious Freedom Prison of Martyrs and Opportunists, the Graveyard of Killed Jobs, and the Rove Spin Room, where all enter feeling giddy on good economic indicators but exit feeling very, very bad.

Obama Library of Achievement, Equality, Peace, and Precedent

Oh, who are we kidding. That one will be boycotted.

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