Jesse Jackson, Jr.’s Auction Loot Is a 1980s Teenager’s Dream Come True

If you grew up idolizing Michael Jackson and Bruce Lee, then, come on—how could you not want this stuff?

Photo: Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune

Jesse Jackson Jr. and Sandi Jackson leave U.S. District Court in Washington, D.C. after pleading guilty to federal charges Wednesday, Feb. 20, 2013.

Starting now, you can buy some of the memorabilia Jesse Jackson Jr. bought with stolen campaign money. The Tribune has a gallery of the loot up for auction today, pulled from the pages of Gaston & Sheehan auctioneers. Shop around. Mink coats, cheap.

This isn’t all of it, though—we’re definitely missing the football signed by ex-presidents, a guitar signed by Eddie Van Halen, and of course that $43,350 Rolex—but this is enough to give you a window into Jackson’s basic tastes.

It is, essentially, as all the stuff he wanted as a 17-year-old in 1982.

I mean, if you were a teenager in the early 1980s, born in 1965 like JJJ was, how could you not want this stuff?
 

  • Double framed and matted “Bruce Lee” autographed 8 x 10 color photo from “Fist of Fury” movie; second 8 x 10 color photo unsigned; red, black, & gold matte w/ “Bruce Lee” & dragon; black painted wood shadowbox frame, $350.00
  • Double framed and matted “Best Wishes Bruce Lee” autographed 8 x 10 color photo from “The Way of the Dragon” movie; red & black matte; black painted wood shadowbox frame, $300.00 
  • Double framed and matted “Bruce Lee” autographed paper cut; 2 unsigned 8 x 10 color photos; red & black matte w/ “Bruce Lee” & Chinese symbol; black painted wood shadowbox frame, $300.00 
  • Framed and matted “Michael Jackson” autographed poster of 25 Anniversary of Thriller; also 3 color photos (8” x 9") unsigned; red & black matte w/ “Michael Jackson” & “King of Pop”; black coated wood frame, $300.00 
  • Double framed and matted “Michael Jackson Thank you A.E.G. 2009” autographed Zildjian ZBT Splash 10” cymbal; also 10 color photos (3” x 5") unsigned; red & black matte w/ “Michael Jackson” & “This is it King of Pop”; black painted wood shadowbox frame, $260.00
  • Framed and matted “Michael Jackson” autographed poster of Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction 2001; also 3 color photos (8” x 9") unsigned; white, gold, & black matte w/ fluer de lis; black coated wood frame, $175.00
  • Double framed and matted “Michael Jackson” autographed record album titled “They Don’t Care About Us”; also 8 x 10 black & white photo unsigned; red & black matte w/ “Michael Jackson” & metal plate; black painted wood shadowbox frame, $135.00 
  • Framed and matted “Michael Jackson” autographed record album titled “Blood on the Dance Floor”; also 8.5 x 11 color photo unsigned; red & black matte w/ “Michael Jackson” & metal plate; black painted wood frame, $135.00 

So then, after you buy all that Michael Jackson stuff for yourself—and all of this crap dates to one single blowout shopping spree at the Forum at Caesars Palace in August of 2009—you really should get something for your wife, too. Or, rather, what you think your wife would want, because it’s what your dad would think his wife would want in the year 1950, touched up with trashy modern accents.

  • Lady’s black sheared mink jacket w/ 40% silver fox sleeves; horizontal strips of mink, 3/4 length sleeves (22” long); no collar, hook front; no pockets; chain pattern material lined; $260.00
  • Lady’s red cashmere cape with dyed black mink trim; $215.00 
  • Lady’s brown cashmere cape with brown mink double edge trim; $115.00
  • Ladys black sheared mink hooded parka; $260.00

All that stuff dates to a single set of receipts from Edwards-Lowell, later on in 2009. There is something to the way he was shopping for this stuff. It wasn’t just dipping into the money for a little treat here and there. It was like, we are going shopping here, buying a lot of stuff all at once, just flagrantly and recklessly. This isn’t careful shopping for some rare sought-after thing. It’s like Supermarket Sweep at Caesars. 

Stealing people’s money to buy stuff for yourself is bad enough. But it’s somehow made worse by the fact that this is such tacky crap, such silly memorabilia that—seriously—no normal person over the age of 18 would actually want.

Anyway. Enough indignation. Let’s go shopping. Today through the 26th, if you do happen to know a teenager living in the year 1982, you can get a deal on some pretty sweet loot. 

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