Jun 29, 2007
Week 8: Board Games
Pregnant women naturally gravitate toward others who are going through the same thing. Most have friends who fit the bill, but Sarah is a few years ahead of her friends, so she turned to the Internet. She joined an "Expectant Moms" group that had lively message boards frequented by women all over America. She signed up using my e-mail address for some reason, which meant that when I opened my email yesterday and I found myself knee-deep in e-mail roundups about uteri and ultrasounds.
Other than the fact that she is pregnant, Sarah has nothing in common with these message board women. Most appear to live in carpeted suburban houses and already have children with names like Cody and Caitlin. They use lots of :)s and !!s in their messages. Many, in an apparent widespread medical miracle, claim to be "showing" at eight weeks. (Even I know that most women don't show until about week 20.) Others claimed that they felt kicking at week eight. Their fetuses were the size of a fingernail, and they thought they felt kicking? Must be Baby Beckham in there. "I'm managing a $750,000 school budget," Sarah grumbled, "And these are a bunch of bored homemakers watching Oprah and waiting for their baby to kick."
One of them posted the following message:
"My DH is so sweet!!! :) He ran to Walgreen's (thank gawd for Walgreen's!!:)) in the middle of the night to get me crackers!":)
"DH?" I asked, reading over Sarah's shoulder. "What's with the baseball lingo?"
Eventually we figured out that it meant something along the lines of "darling hubby." Hmm. I have yet to run to Walgreen's in the middle of the night for crackers. I wasn't aware that Walgreen's even carried crackers.
The more I saw of the message boards, the less I qualified. A DH:
- Takes digital photos of his wife's belly every week to chart her progress. I don't currently own a camera; I buy a disposable one whenever I need to take a picture.
- A DH goes to bed at the same time as his wife, no matter how early. My eyes physically cannot close until SportsCenter is over.
- A DH talks about his wife's body like they both own it, i.e., "We're gaining weight in our legs," or "we're drinking six glasses of water a day," or "our cervix is totally dilated!" We'd rather be shot.
So, I suppose, as devoted as I am to Sarah, I still don't qualify as a DH. Have to do something about that.
Posted at 10:41 AM in Push | Permalink
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Reader Comments:
My husband rubbed my gross feet and read me trashy magazines til I fell asleep every night. Now that's a DH.
If these other moms have other kids already at home, I assure you, most of them don't have time to watch Oprah (or eat bon-bons or anything that suggests they are bored.) I sold millions in a technical sales career before I decided not to enter my children into the world of daycare. I don't regret my decision, nor am I ever bored. This at-home suburban house wife stuff is not easy as so many perceive. Once that baby is born, give it a few months and you will understand exactly what I am talking about. Parenting is a very humbling experience. Get ready for all your conceptions to be misconceptions. I enjoyed your entries.
My wife has chosen to stay home with the kids, too. And she sure ain't bored, I'll tell you that. But she's way too busy to spend time trolling Expectant Mothers message boards.
Of course, here I am, trolling these message boards.
Teehee - touchy commenters!
I hear ya on the strange message board mothers. I signed up for one of them when I started maternity leave and was shocked at the amount of time some of these women spent online, even if they already had 1 of more kids at home. The only useful thing I got out of that was contact with some moms who lived near me, and "play dates" set up that were a nice change of pace during maternity leave. After I went back to work, I never saw them again.
All of the stay-at-home moms I know are pretty darn busy (as other commenters have said), but many of the ones on message boards are an odd breed.
MilwaukeeMom
Ann odd breed indeed. I used to go on the pregnancy message boards long after I delivered to just to witness the freakshow every now and then.
Funny, as a newly pregnant person, I'd assumed DH meant designated hitter as well. Couldn't find another more reasonable term for it. :) !!! (Joking on the smiley face and exclamations.)