March 2012
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03/29/12Week 25: Vicious CycleIf there were Pregnancy Police, I’d be calling 911 right now. As it turns out, my wife’s not really respecting the laws of the bed rest. She’s using the extra time to launch all kinds of complex projects involving sewing and reorganizing bookshelves and figuring out why our bathroom smells like a hungover moose. I can’t stop her, and she can’t stop herself... Posted at 12:25 PM in Push | Permalink | Comments (0) |
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03/22/12Week 24: A Moment to ForgetIn 2000, I proposed to Sarah at a B & B in Lakeside, Michigan. Got down on one knee, took her hand, the whole thing. She proposed back, rings were exchanged, and then we were just kind of like: What do we do now?... Posted at 10:39 AM in Push | Permalink | Comments (0) |
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03/19/12Week 23: Fairy DustHannah lost a tooth the other day, her fourth. In our home, the Tooth Fairy has a grand tradition of leaving these big fancy notes of congratulation—in addition to the money—in exchange for the tooth under the pillow. So that’s what the Tooth Fairy did, even though it was 11 p.m. and he had worked a long day and was tired, and he still had to clean the kitchen and take out the recycling... Posted at 10:24 AM in Push | Permalink | Comments (0) |
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03/09/12Week 22: The Rest of Your LifeBed rest. Just say the words and women cringe. Then they offer to bring over lasagne. Sarah’s been having crazy pains all over her body, especially in that special contraction zone, which makes O.B.s awfully nervous—and ours, the unflappable Dr. Harth, finally told Sarah that if working was causing her pain, then stop working. So she has... Posted at 11:46 AM in Push | Permalink | Comments (0) |
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03/02/12Week 21: Senior MomentSarah is 36. In the twisted world of pregnancy, 36 qualifies as geriatric. Most of us generally associate the word “geriatric” with broken hips, early bird dinners, and Florida, and I have delighted in making my wife the butt of many jokes involving Metamucil and mothballs. Her response... Posted at 11:16 AM in Push | Permalink | Comments (0) |
About Push
The continuing adventures of Jeff Ruby, aka Chicago's dining critic, senior editor, and humor columnist. After chronicling his wife's pregnancy and eventual delivery on a Hyde Park floor in gory detail, Ruby fast-forwarded a year to his paternity leave, during which his threesome inexplicably decided to travel 10,000 miles away. Another baby followed. Then the World’s Dumbest Dog. Now Ruby’s wife is pregnant again, and Push returns for one more go-round. Again, nothing is omitted. These people gave up on privacy years ago.
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Recent Posts
- Week 39: The Call | Comments (0)
- Week 37: Boy or Girl? | Comments (2)
- Week 35: Freaks and Leaks | Comments (0)
- Week 33: Who Robs a Pregnant Woman? | Comments (1)
- Week 32: Expecting the Worst | Comments (0)
- Week 31: How to @#$% Up | Comments (0)
- Week 29: A Word About Poop | Comments (0)
- Week 27: Sleepwalking | Comments (0)
- Week 26: Name That Baby | Comments (0)
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