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We asked real Chicagoans to share intimate details about their love lives. From a young woman swept up in a new romance to an old soldier who once dared the ultimate sacrifice for love, they told all
by Sarah Preston Gorenstein
THE SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE
Stay-at-home mother of three boys; 35
Married for ten years
How many times a week do you have sex?
On average, two or three.
The Big Party
Carnival of Desire
How often would you like to have sex?
We have the perfect balance. About 50 percent of the time we’re on the same page, on the same day. There are weeks that go by when we only do it once; there are weeks where we’ll do it all weekend. Sometimes four days will go by and we haven’t had sex, and he thinks it’s been two weeks—until I remind him of that last session.
When you have three kids, what is the best time for sex?
In the morning when everyone’s still sleeping—at 6:45 a.m. We’ve come off a good night of sleep; we’re clean from showering the night before. We know by what’s going on in our house that we have 15 minutes in the morning. In that window we recap a lingering conversation from the night before, which somehow becomes a catalyst for fooling around, and with three minutes left I have enough time to find out if he’s coming home for dinner and what he wants to eat.
Since you’ve been married, where are the most unusual places you’ve had sex?
My bed. We once attempted it in the steam room of a spa, but it didn’t work.
How important is sex in your marriage?
Sex keeps the relationship good. It promotes connection, which is especially important when you have a few kids. My grandmother always says: “If you’re not sleeping with your husband, either you are sleeping with someone else, or he’s sleeping with someone else.” I believe that.
Has sex gotten better or worse over the course of your marriage?
I’d say better. Definitely not worse.
What’s your impression of your friends’ marriages?
Only a handful of my friends have a very good, passionate sex life. There are three or four couples we know that still have a healthy sex life.
Are you ever tempted by other men?
I could have chemistry with other men, but nothing that would go beyond the surface. That’s human nature.
If you could change one thing about your sex life or relationship, what would it be?
He’s a great romantic, but life, work, kids, and stress get in the way. It would be nice to have more of the romance.
Photograph: Taylor Castle
Stylist: Isaac King With Ford Models Prop Stylist: Angela Finney Production: Justin Vandenberg Photo Assistant: Kyle Payton Hair And Makeup: Hillary Fenton