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Jovan’s Apple Pie

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Jovan’s Apple Pie

Grill prep: Scrape paint off the table bolted to the wall of your cell.  (scraper is a bracket from a mop-wringer, sharpened by rubbing on concrete wall.) 

Heat source: Stack empty milk cartons under grill. 

Bottom Crust

  • 12 Slices bread from bologna sandwiches.  Rip to pieces, mix with water, and pat into circle.


  • 5 Apples from lunch trays, cut with plastic knife borrowed from friendly guard.
  • 10 Packs sugar from breakfast trays
  • 1 Brownie, crumbled, from commissary.

Top Crust

  • 1 Tortilla, spread with peanut butter and honey from commissary, face down over filling.


  • Ignite milk cartons.
  • Brown bottom crust and hold plastic bag over pie to retain heat.
  • Flip pie with spatula made from corner of cracker box and Brown top crust.
  • Flip again.
  • Cut into wedges with plastic knife.
  • Serve.
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