Jovan’s Apple Pie

<< Back to article

Jovan’s Apple Pie

Grill prep: Scrape paint off the table bolted to the wall of your cell.  (scraper is a bracket from a mop-wringer, sharpened by rubbing on concrete wall.) 

Heat source: Stack empty milk cartons under grill. 

Bottom Crust

• 12 Slices bread from bologna sandwiches.  Rip to pieces, mix with water, and pat into circle.

Filling

• 5 Apples from lunch trays, cut with plastic knife borrowed from friendly guard.
• 10 Packs sugar from breakfast trays
• 1 Brownie, crumbled, from commissary.

Top Crust

• 1 Tortilla, spread with peanut butter and honey from commissary, face down over filling.

Directions

• Ignite milk cartons.
• Brown bottom crust and hold plastic bag over pie to retain heat.
• Flip pie with spatula made from corner of cracker box and Brown top crust.
• Flip again.
• Cut into wedges with plastic knife.
• Serve.