Billionaire financier and reputed playboy Ken Griffin, who made his fortune in Chicago, buggered off to Miami in 2022, leaving us with little more than his name on the Museum of Science and Industry. Now, Griffin wants the rest of us to follow him south. 

“Florida is one of the best business states, if not the best business state, in the country,” the tycoon was recently quoted as saying. “Access to talent, regulatory predictability, cost structure and quality of life are critical. When you’re deploying capital and committing resources over a 20-year horizon, getting those basics right matters more than almost anything else.”

Thanks, Ken, but here are a few reasons we won’t be leaving Chicago for Miami — particularly for the business-minded.

Brains

The University of Chicago has more than 100 Nobel Prize winners. The University of Chicago and Northwestern are both in the top 10 of U.S. News and World Report’s rankings. The University of Miami came in at No. 64. Florida’s public universities banned Diversity, Equity and Inclusion initiatives, and the Florida Board of Governors rejected a highly qualified candidate for president of the University of Florida for being too woke.

Youth

Chicago has entire neighborhoods for young people starting their careers. Florida has retirement communities. Take Lake View, for example: It’s got baseball, college bars, a movie theater, marijuana dispensaries. (Marijuana is illegal in square Florida.) Try planning for a 20-year horizon with retirees who’ll be dead in 10. Chicago is the City That Works. Miami is the City That Goes to Dinner at 4:30.

Focus

Chicagoans only knock off work to go to the beach three months out of the year. Sure, Miami has the Atlantic Ocean, but at least Lake Michigan doesn’t have sharks or jellyfish. While Miamians are working on their suntans, we’re getting work done.

Livability

We’ve got the Hawk. Miami has hurricanes. The Hawk is the name for the cold wind off Lake Michigan, popularized in the Lou Rawls song, “Dead End Street.” It’s a bear to walk in, but it’s never blown anyone’s house down. Tighten your scarf and turn up your hood. No amount of wardrobe adjustment can repel a hurricane. Miami’s most destructive hurricane, 1992’s Andrew, killed 65 people, destroyed 63,500 homes and caused $27 billion in damage. Winds off the Great Lakes are never so unfriendly.

Progress

Our governor is more progressive than their governor. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a law banning abortion after six weeks. Our Governor JB Pritzker has vowed to make Illinois “a haven for reproductive health,” signing a law making abortion a fundamental right here. An enemy of “wokeness,” DeSantis proposed a bill to ban teaching of critical race theory in Florida schools. In Illinois, says Pritzker, we do not believe that critical race theory is “an attack on white people.” DeSantis partnered with ICE on Operation Tidal Wave. Pritzker called ICE agents “thugs.”

Character

Cold weather builds character. What are the happiest, most prosperous nations in the world? Iceland, Denmark, Sweden, Finland. All countries where it’s cold. So we tell ourselves as we soldier on through this winter. We don’t need the dissolute heat on Florida. Except for, maybe, a weeklong vacation later this month. But as soon as that’s over, we’ll be back at work in Illinois.