photo: courtesy backstreet boys
The best-selling boy band of all time has announced their summer tour dates, and Chicago’s first on the list. We’re, um, kind of excited about this.
BSB last teamed up with New Kids On The Block to make this the middle-aged pop supertour. (The two groups released a joint album in 2011.) Now, nearly two decades after the boy band first hit the airwaves, they’re hitting the tour circuit solo. But, despite the years passed, tours finished, and wrinkles formed, the tour may be the shot of nostalgia BSB fans have been waiting for. Afterall, Kevin’s still the sexy one and no one knows who A.J. is.
To make the Backstreet experience a truly special event, here are a few things really have to happen at this August 2nd show.
1) Open the set with “Backstreet’s Back.”
The boys should stick to the Occam’s razor of pop music. Sometimes, the most obvious option is the most entertaining one. Maybe they can add back-up vocals echoing, “Again!” after every chorus line.
2) A hologram. Of a young Nick Carter.
Ever since 2pac’s unexpected cameo at Coachella last year, it’s been hard to find the right moment to further explore the potential of using live holograms of random musicians. To bring back Nick Carter’s ’90s self—while the modern-day Nick Carter is on stage—would be a masterpiece in performance art. A postmodern commentary on the digital age’s self-referential recontextualization. Whatever. It’d just be awesome.
3) The return of the ’90s outfits.
Mesh. Bangs parted at the forehead. An all-white wardrobe. Zombie makeup. These demands are mandatory. In fact, just wear a mesh top beneath the all-white suits. Rip the suits off, and use the mesh tops’ mobility to perform one of the group’s signature moves: Pointing at the sky while belting out a chorus. Sing out for all the undead among us.
4) A ballad dedicated to the wives.
At this point, all members of the band are married. There really is no more meaning behind the 1998 smash hit, “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely.” So how about just revising the lyrics a bit to be “Show Me the Meaning of Being Married"? The wives could come up on stage for five big duets. Kids, too. Why not. We’re all grownups here.
5) A shoutout to the doc behind A.J.’s hair transplant.
Photo credit: abc
A.J. McLean was also the only member of BSB to go bald. But luckily, in a feat only the fountain of boy band youth could ensure, his hair is back, too! From this perspective, it looks pretty natural.
Actually, though, an Instagram caption, A.J. thanks a mysterious “dr G.” We’re going to need a more detailed reference during the show. Remember, your old fans have gone bald, too.
The Backstreet Boys play Friday, August 2, at Chicago’s Charter One Pavillion at Northerly Island. Tickets go on sale here at 7:00 am on Wednesday, May 15.
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