Illustration by John Kenzie
Illustration: John Kenzie

The ultraconservative religious sect is notoriously hard to poll (for obvious reasons), so we had to get creative. We interviewed 16 Amish men (no women spoke) from Illinois and Indiana as they passed through Union Station. The consensus of this highly unscientific survey: Most favor Trump.

But wait, you might wonder, don’t the Amish prize communal wisdom, pacifism, and, oh yeah, modesty? True, but without TV and the internet, they’re missing the play-by-play of Trump’s antics. So the candidate they know is, as his billboards suggest, just a hardworking, savvy businessman.

One patriarch admits that Trump seems “prideful,” but he’s willing to overlook that sin: “Very few politicians share our values in earnest.” Another reason many of the Amish plan to check Trump’s name come November: “It’s hard to conceive of how [a woman] could run the country.” (Gulp.) But in the end, none of this matters much: Many Amish orders discourage voting on the grounds that it challenges God’s authority—better to simply pray that his will be done.