Illustrations: istockphoto
 

Snubbed again! In July, Chicago lost its bid for the 2014 X Games (the Olympics of the future!) to Austin, Texas. Which, of course, follows losing the 2016 Olympics and the 2018 and 2022 World Cups. Perhaps it’s time for Rahm and Co. to set their sights on more achievable alternatives.
 

World Stone Skimming Championships
Held every year in Scotland in late September, this contest gives each competitor "3 skims using specially selected Easdale slate skimming stones," according to the event's rules. Isn’t this what lakes are for? We’ve got a great one.
 

LG Mobile World Cup
Also known as the "texting championship," this annual contest has competitors speed-texting for a shot at prize money. The whole idea fits Rahm’s vision of Chicago as the nation’s Silicon Prairie.
 

World Snail Racing Championships
Held each summer in the UK, this race is as entertaining as an 800-meter sprint, in much less space.
 

Wife Carrying World Championships
This champhionship has been a Finnish tradition since 1992, but it should come to Chicago—where better than the City of Big Shoulders?