You think babies smell like...
The L car no one is riding.
True or false: You live within two blocks of a Walgreens.
You must ford a three-foot snow mound to put your baby in the car. What do you do?
Please. I already shoveled out my spot and placed a lawn chair, a stepladder, a houseplant, and an Ariana Grande CD within the perimeter. Thank u, next!
Go back inside.
Are you strong enough to carry a car seat and a stroller up the stairs to the L?
I’m buff! Thanks, Orangetheory!
That’s what my husband is for.
The United Center is for ...
The three Bs: Beyoncé, Blackhawks, and Bulls.
Disney on Ice, obvi.
True or false: You can’t wait to participate in local Facebook groups where “mamas” share memes about wine, bitch about CPS, and start threads like “Ack, my husband and I have no baby names! Go!”
This makes me want to die.
Are you willing to travel to a restaurant shitty enough to take your baby to?
For sure! I don’t want to bother people.
Hell no. Babies in bars 4eva!
We’ve met our quota of parents. Please check back in one year.
Survey says: Move to Naperville.
HAVE YOUR CHICAGO BABY, BOO!
4 days ago