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Quiz: Are You Ready to Have a Chicago Baby?

Quiz illustration
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You think babies smell like...

The L car no one is riding.

Garrett popcorn.

True or false: You live within two blocks of a Walgreens.



You must ford a three-foot snow mound to put your baby in the car. What do you do?

Please. I already shoveled out my spot and placed a lawn chair, a stepladder, a houseplant, and an Ariana Grande CD within the perimeter. Thank u, next!

Go back inside.

Are you strong enough to carry a car seat and a stroller up the stairs to the L?

I’m buff! Thanks, Orangetheory!

That’s what my husband is for.

The United Center is for ...

The three Bs: Beyoncé, Blackhawks, and Bulls.

Disney on Ice, obvi.

True or false: You can’t wait to participate in local Facebook groups where “mamas” share memes about wine, bitch about CPS, and start threads like “Ack, my husband and I have no baby names! Go!”

It me!

This makes me want to die.

Are you willing to travel to a restaurant shitty enough to take your baby to?

For sure! I don’t want to bother people.

Hell no. Babies in bars 4eva!

We’ve met our quota of parents. Please check back in one year.

Survey says: Move to Naperville.


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