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Five Ways to Perk Up the Pedway

The city got $4 million from the government to jazz up the tunnels. Here are our ideas.

Photo: Jose M. Osorio/Chicago Tribune

Black light posters

Pot’s legal and black light is back! Groovy ambience that also helps you steer clear of grossness hidden to the naked eye.

Lavender oil dispensers

Forget hand sanitizer; everyone has the flu already. We need a calming influence when we’re lost under Macy’s.

Labyrinth costumes

Sure, not everyone wants to tug on David Bowie’s Lycra pants, but a maze full of commuters in spiky mullet wigs is the morale boost we deserve.

Bear Grylls

There’s no cell reception and you’re lost, hypothermic, and have to pee. Grylls will build you a compass out of a hot dog bun and a Ventra card.

The bunnies from Us

Why not just lean into the whole basement thing and release a herd of white rabbits? It’s not like the tunnels can get any scarier.

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