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Behold, the Reckless Holiday Gift Guide

Every fall, we assemble a holiday gift guide—a carefully curated selection of 75 or so trendy suggestions for everyone on Santa’s list. In the weeks leading up to the issue, hundreds and hundreds of companies—and their dutiful publicity reps—come out of the woodwork with items for consideration. For every 100 or so pitches, there’s always one real gem. Here, we’ve taken 13 of the funniest items off the cutting room floor and assembled—dare I say—a Reckless Holiday Gift Guide…

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Potty Putter golf game, $12.99, at collectionsetc.com
What is it? A golf game for the second office
Press release says: “During tough economic times like these and with our country at war, people increasingly are looking for things that bring them hope, inspiration, and spirituality. And they want to surround themselves with these things.”

Luscious Lips by Cynthia Rowland, $49.95, at cynthiarowland.com
What is it: A conditioning system for fuller, pumper lips—no surgery required!
Press release says: “Simply tilt your head back and place the Luscious Lips device over your mouth. Hold the device firmly, and suck out all of the air to create the vacuum. Then, gently pull the outer cylinder slowly, and you will begin to feel your lips pull into the cylinder. Hold for a few seconds and then release and repeat until you reach the desired plump.”


Potty Patch, $39.99, at Petco
What is it? An indoor dog lawn
Press release says: “Winter winds and heavy snow are not pleasant. Don’t you think your pet feels the same? The Potty Patch offers a warm alternative during winter weather to keep you and your dog protected from the harsh arctic winds.”


Rick Springfield memoir, $26, at bookstores everywhere
What is it? Rick Springfield’s memoir
Press release says: “In his searingly candid memoir, Grammy Award-winning pop icon Rick Springfield pulls back the curtain on his image as a bright, shiny, happy performer to share the startling story of his rise and fall and rise in music, film, and television and his lifelong battle with depression. This is the memoir that millions of his fans have been waiting for.”


White Castle scented candle, $13, at houseofcrave.com
What is it? An onion-scented candle
Press release says: “With eight nights of giving, it’s easy to run out of gift ideas for that hard-to-buy-for person. Let the aroma of steam grilled on a bed of onions fill the house this Hanukkah season by giving White Castle’s Original slider-scented candle. White Castle’s Original Slider-scented candles are a fun, attention-getting gift to give during Hanukkah, especially for families who have a child with Autism, as net proceeds from the sale of the candle benefit Autism Speaks.”


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