The Accidental Bridezilla

The invitations went out last week, and suddenly everyone seems to have entered panic mode. The Fiancé, who typically keeps his cool under even the most strenuous circumstances, had to take a walk last Monday after I mentioned that some of our guests had already received their invites. It seems our pending nuptials are making even him a little nervous…

The invitations went out last week, and suddenly everyone seems to have entered panic mode. The Fiancé, who typically keeps his cool under even the most strenuous circumstances, had to take a walk last Monday after I mentioned that some of our guests had already received their invites. It seems our pending nuptials are making even him a little nervous. Meanwhile my mom, who’s in charge of collecting the 300 response cards, is providing regular RSVP updates: “We’ve gotten dozens of responses, and only two people have declined,” she told me yesterday. Like I said: panic.

The next six weeks will be plenty stressful, but at least The Fiancé and I tend to agree on most wedding decisions—well, maybe not so much “agree” as he doesn’t care about many of the finer points. That’s one of the benefits of marrying a guy whose biggest wedding-day concern is making sure the Bears game will be on somewhere. It also helps that the planning process has been a team effort. The stuff he doesn’t have an opinion about he defers to me; the stuff I don’t have an opinion about I defer to my mother. She always has an opinion.

“I stressed out about not having chair covers because I thought the hotel chairs were ugly,” one married friend told me about her own nuptials a few years back. Chair covers may sound trivial, but they can add up to a major expense. “This caused several arguments, which I eventually lost. But I showed up on the day of the wedding, and my parents surprised me with them anyway.” Looking back, she says, those covers were a silly thing to get upset about. Easy for her to say now. She didn’t have to live with ugly chairs.

Another point of contention for some folks is the guest list. “We were totally cool with a mid-size wedding, but once we got into the details of who was in and who was out, we really struggled,” a married guy friend told me. “It didn’t help that my father thought he needed to invite every friend, business associate, and general acquaintance. At the last minute, we cut a couple we were friends with, whose wedding and bachelor/bachelorette parties we had attended only six months earlier.” He says they still regret that decision to this day—10 years later.

The guest list is one thing I’m done belaboring. Now it’s onto seating arrangements, my speech, and, of course, the booze. The Fiancé and I both feel strongly about keeping the bar open during dinner, something we’ve been cautioned against at The Drake; some people claim it interferes with the flow of dinner. “Stand firm on this one,” a newly married friend advised. “I haven’t been to many weddings where there wasn’t an open bar during dinner.” She had two bars at their dinner in the ballroom of The Intercontinental, and it worked out well because her guests stayed put—and sufficiently lubricated—all night.

There are areas in which I defer to my mother, and then there are areas not up for debate. Booze is one of them. I’m starting to see where this bridezilla complex comes from.

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6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Holy crap my eye's are burning!!

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

It's astounding how persistant and stubborn you are. You insist upon droning on and on about your wedding....and why I keep subjecting myself to this ultra-dull wedding drivel is beyond me. What's next? The trials and tribulations of RSVP woes?? And your tone is so completely snobbish, shallow and self-important. What a brat. Get over yourself.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

The chairs are beautiful, the bars open, the guest list is full -- and the bride and groom will be on Cloud 9. How's that for positive attitude and another opinion from Momzilla? The rest of the Zilla Family thanks you for protecting them.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Ahhhhh the poor poor life of North Shore yuppies...

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Do you know Jeff Ruby? HE manages to write about everyday things and his column is funny and intelligent. Read his stuff -- he's a WRITER. You should at least TRY to be somewhat introspective, clever or original. Aim a little higher with your craft. Good luck with the wedding.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

The only thing I am looking forward to is you leaving on your honeymoon and hopefully being spared the miserable pain of reading another one of your columns. Does anyone read these responses? Please do something about this. They are god awful! There is nothing in any of these that is slightly beneficial to anyone but you.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Hi Sarah,
It's impossible to make everyone happy... Weddings do funny things to people... Hopefully you don't have more than two sets of parents to please. When we got married, we had two sets on each side who all wanted different things out of the wedding. Religion was one of them. You should've seen the look on my mom's face when they played the Hora during our reception!

In the end, we all had a great night, and the little details didn't matter at all. When you wake up married the next day you'll have much more to look forward to, and will be able to laugh at all the nonsense that goes into the planning.

I do agree with you that booze is an important part to making sure everyone has a good time. Your friend is right- stand firm!

Good luck and keep us posted!

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Sarah, I think you have a drinking problem.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

or Sarah's friends have a drinking problem...

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

or no one likes a dry wedding!

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

At the end of the day Sara, just remember, this is about a marriage, not a wedding. A wedding is one day, one celebration. But the day after the wedding is the first day of the rest of your life (hopefully). Focus on your marriage and not your wedding and everything else will fall into place.

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

i've been to dry weddings and they suuuck. how can the last girl standing even consider not serving alcohol during dinner? that's like phil vettel not serving food!

6 years ago
Posted by Anonymous

Wow. I thought I was harsh toward people who blather incessantly about their upcoming weddings.

Keep the faith, previous commenters. Keep the faith.

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