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Casual Sex

Since I last blogged, I’ve been pretty much partying non-stop. ‘Tis the season! To recap: Christmas Eve is a big night out for us Jews. This year I skipped the Retro Eve party at Enclave and headed instead to Rockit Bar and Grill’s slightly smaller Rockmitzvah, where my friend had a table waiting. I haven’t gone the online-dating route yet myself, but the frequency of the following vignette during our night out didn’t encourage me to do so: Girl enters bar. Guy stops her and, in front of his drunk friends, says, “Hey, why didn’t you ever call me back after we went out that time?” Girl gets flustered and hides in the corner of the bar the rest of the night. Sound familiar, J-Daters?Traveling in groups makes it difficult to meet guys, but my girlfriends and I were having so much fun that I didn’t really care whom I met. After a few rounds of cocktails, the group retreated to Stone Lotus for yet more drinking and flirting, then back to the house of a friend who always throws raging late-night after-parties. This friend-let’s call him Mr. Popular-has a knack for bringing people together. He knows just about everyone, and his parties always seem to end up as hook-up fests: canoodling in the bathroom, making out in the bedroom. Needless to say, Christmas Eve was a blast and a great springboard for the rest of the week’s festivities. Next up: New Year’s Eve weekend. Friday to Sunday meant One. Long. Party. Friday night was the pre-opening of Billy Dec’s much-anticipated The Underground. (Read March’s Nightspotting for more.) I knew about two-thirds of the room since most of the attendees were friends of the owners. It’s a very small city when you frequent these kinds of places as often as I do. (New Year’s Resolution No. 1: Stop going to the same places.) The next night, the night before New Year’s Eve, my good friends had a party on their rooftop. For us singletons, it was a great pre-party for the Eve of the Eve at Union Station, an annual bash that always draws a big crowd. A group of about 10 of us headed there in our tuxes and dresses around 10 p.m. with the goal of meeting new people (see, I’m trying!). While it’s a great party, despite the appearance of some very bad shoes (ladies, it’s OK to buy a new pair for a big occasion)-black tie, open bar, full food, and live music for $125, if you get your tickets on time-it wasn’t exactly successful for most of us. I mean, sure, I ended up in a stretch Hummer limo with a group of people I’d never met before, headed to Butch McGuire’s on Division Street for the official after-party to mingle with more strangers. But for an event that attracts more than 2,000 revelers, I didn’t meet a single guy I was interested in getting to know better. So by the time New Year’s Eve rolled around, my girlfriends and I had almost lost the energy to go another round. But we had a party to attend: Mr. Popular was throwing his annual New Year’s Eve bash at his house. He initially invited 40 of his closest friends-which turned into more like 70. The party was fully catered, with two bartenders in tow. As the Effen Black Cherries flowed, the crowd-which seemed to consist solely of thirtysomethings and 24-year-olds-became tryst central. I think I was the only one who didn’t hook up that night. I’m not sure why this would surprise me, but I’ve been witness to the prelude of so much casual sex over the holidays, it got me thinking: Why would a guy ever settle down when he has countless women who will sleep with him at the simple ping of a text message? I’m not saying I’ve never participated in it; I’m just not in that place right now. And I’m certainly not saying that there’s anything wrong with casual sex. But it does make it difficult to gain the respect and commitment of a guy when he has so many no-strings-attached options. To the reader who commented on my last blog, asking, “What’s wrong with men today?": I hate to say it but, in part, I blame the girls who make themselves so easy and available. To make a comparison, if someone handed me a free pair of Christian Louboutin stilettos, would I really say no?

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