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Gwyneth Paltrow has a lovely, light pink pedicure. This is all I can see. I’ve crowded into the press “pit,” which is kind of like a cattle corral. The reporters and photographers in front of me have mostly blocked my view. So after a few minutes, I squat down, and peek between Bill Zwecker’s legs. Finally, an unobstructed view of Gwyneth—her feet!

In case you’re curious, Gwyneth is thin and radiant and perfectly fashionable in a Marc Jacobs minidress and open-toe Prada pumps. I, on the other hand, am in super schlub mode. Friday is yoga day, and, after class this morning at Moksha, it was more than I could handle to actually shower and put on heels to stalk an A-list celebrity.

So I’m in jeans and a $10 shirt from Dots. It’s a look far from awesome.

But back to Gwyneth. She was at Macy’s this morning to hawk a new fragrance from Estée Lauder. This, you see, is a big event. Nearly every major media outlet in town was there. It’s kind of funny, if you think about it, all these reporters and photographers crowding into one space…for what? To take pictures of Gwyneth Paltrow, of course! She’s a celebrity! Chicago doesn’t have very many, and we get very excited about it!

I don’t know how I feel about this. I mean, it’s better than sitting in my cube, and I kind of like seeing celebrities up close even though I don’t exactly understand why. But they don’t say anything particularly interesting (Gwyneth: “Chicago is one of my favorite cities.” “I’ll sign autographs now.”).

Why do you care? Why do I care? I suspect that I just want to see if the reality is any different from what is presented in the movies and in US Weekly. I like to see what different celebrities wear and how they handle themselves. I guess when it comes down to it, satisfying your curiosity is as good of a reason to do something as any.

So when you see me next week and I have a light pink pedicure, I won’t admit that Gwyneth inspired it. No way. You see, I’m far above celebrity-stalking.

Obviously.

[Luckily, our web editor, Esther, went Gwyneth-hunting with me. While I was yukking it up with the other media folks, she snuck in front of the TV cameras and got a great front-row vantage point. These are her pictures.]

Photography: Esther Kang