Illustration by John Kenzie
Illustration: John Kenzie

A. When the trio Rascal Flatts decided to park their pickup next to Publican Quality Meats, the Aviary, and the carcasses of the neighborhood’s remaining meatpacking plants and open a country-themed chain restaurant on Green Street.

B. When Lululemon announced it would establish a Randolph Street location to outfit locals in transparent leggings. Handy in case the Publican’s Paul Kahan ever runs out of sausage casings.

C. When McDonald’s cut a deal to turn the old Harpo Studios lot into its headquarters, making Fulton Market the new Oak Brook. Diners at Au Cheval can soon expect to wait with oversize pagers and choose from more than 35 flavors of cheesecake.

 

Answer: Trick question! Between Bulls fans ogling Michael Jordan at One Sixtyblue and tourists trying to catch a glimpse of Oprah, it was never cool.