Grill
It’s portable, so you can rub your pride (and your barbecue skills) in your bro-in-law’s face when you visit St. Louis. $299, weber.com
Photos: Courtesy of vendors
Paint
Cubbies Blue, Marquee Red, Wrigley Field Green. What’s next, Men’s Room Trough Gray? From $30 a gallon, benjaminmoore.com
Baby carrier
For fans from the cradle … $55, amazon.com
Casket
… to the grave. $2,400, walmart.com