What would your office look like if Second City were in charge? Enter Cube Monkeys (HarperCollins; $13.95), a new survival handbook written by Second City comedians and staffers at CareerBuilder.com. Chicago took some of its own, um, “issues” to Kirk Hanley, a Second City writer. Here’s what he advised.

My boss found my blog; now he’s upset. He has time to read blogs instead of getting some real work done? Throw this fact back in his face.
My co-worker is having a baby shower, and I don’t feel like spending a lot on a present. Look for an inexpensive gift right in your own office! Consider “The Li’l Shredder,” “Box o’ Pencils,” or “Baby’s First Stapler.”
My halitosis-haunted cube mate Altoid-eating contest!
My co-worker eavesdropped on my call to the doctor’s office, then asked me what was wrong. Just tell him, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just my TB flaring up again. I’m not supposed to travel, but no one said anything about work.” And then cough violently.
I’m hung-over. At work. Sounds like you’re someone who’s not happy in her work. Someone who’s only working for a paycheck. Someone who self-medicates to numb the unrelenting pain. Well, welcome to the club. Drink up!