NEXT The phone number is 312-226-0858 but don’t bother. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT We heard the real reason Ferran Adrià shut down El Bulli was so he could devote all his time to refreshing his computer bid for a ticket to Next. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT Guinness Book contender? Every 16 tables released sell out in four seconds. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT If you’ve got $1,000, you can buy four tickets on Craigslist. Or you can buy a jet ski. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT Give up our tickets to Next for an invitation to Barack Obama’s Navy Pier fundraiser tonight? We don’t think so. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT Achatz and Kokonas defended the complicated ticketing system until they realized neither could get a table until June. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT “We are currently sold out. Please check back as we will soon be releasing more tables.” Tables that you will not get. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT If anyone has a weeknight in May, text us. We’ve got the Tribune’s expense account. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT Nothing says “Paris 1906” like an automated online system to authenticate and transfer ticket ownership. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858

NEXT Achatz is Wonka. Kokonas is his chief Oompa-loompa. And we are all Veruca Salt. 953 W. Fulton Market; 312-226-0858