The economy’s in the toilet. Your mutual funds are tanking. And you can’t sell your condo because the real-estate market has crashed. But just because we’re in a tailspin doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Bars all over town are offering bailout plans of the drink-deal kind. Our day-by-day guide:

MONDAY
Monday night is typically industry night in Chicago, but everyone can cash in on the deals at the Weed Street District’s just-opened Sully’s House, which offers $2 select pints (Point, High Life, Killian’s), $4 Jameson shots, and half-price jumbo wings. Order the latter spicy, and no one will suspect why you’re really crying.

TUESDAY
At Kit Kat Lounge and Supper Club, it’s half-price martinis, usually $10. For a calmer vibe in which to drink your sorrows, head to Dunlays on the Square or Dunlays on Clark. Both offer 20 bottles of wine for $20. Even more modest is the deal at Frasca: $5 for a glass of wine.

WEDNESDAY
Fat Cat, in Uptown, aims for a 1930s and 1940s vibe, but on Wednesdays the spot pays ode to the crash of 1929 with a cheapie: a shot and a beer for $5.50. If that won’t get you through the rest of the week, Bucktown/Wicker Park’s Plan B offers $1 Bud Light drafts, and half-price appetizers and bottles of wine.

THURSDAY
Five Star Bar presents Rock n’ Rollcession, with DJ Josh spinning punk and dusty-rock grooves (some consolation if you had to sell your vinyl collection to get over this slump). Plus, wash down $1 corn dogs with $2.50 cans of PBR. Over at Scarlet in Boystown, 40-ounce Miller beers—big enough to share—are $5.

FRIDAY
Head to Encore to try mixologist Mickey Sigler’s new series of Wall Street Fiasco Cocktails. Our favorite: The Absinthe-Minded Republican, made with Absinthe, Bombay Gin, Grand Marnier, and dry vermouth for $7.

SATURDAY
Despite the slump, most bars are still charging full price on weekends. One of the few exceptions is Smoke Daddy, where 22-ounce Bud Lights are $5, and the spot’s signature nachos are $6.

SUNDAY
There’s nothing like a mini glass of wine (or eight) to help you forget how much you spent (or drank) over the weekend. D.O.C Wine Bar offers $10 wine flights of four reds and four whites.

WE HOPE YOU DON’T NEED IT, BUT …
Wicker Park hot spot The Fifty/50 is offering—gulp—50 percent off your bill if your house has been foreclosed on. Bring in some form of documentation to prove your case; sad faces won’t cut it.

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FIND SOLACE IN ONE SPRINT
Hop on the Twin Bridges Tavern Tour, a pub-crawl parade through West Town, this Saturday, the 25th. Start with the Kegs-n-Eggs brunch, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., at Mahoney’s Pub & Grille; from there, buses run to J. Patrick’s, DeLux, Streeter’s Tavern, Pippin’s Tavern, Richard’s Bar, Emmit’s Irish Pub, and Twisted Spoke before heading back to Mahoney’s. Registration ($10 in advance, $15 day of) covers transportation and breakfast. Each bar offers $3 domestic drafts and $5 shots of Jameson. Call Mahoney’s at 312-733-2121 for details.