Southwest Michigan

The locals have a nickname for vacationing Chicagoans: FIPs, an acronym for “fucking Illinois people.” Spotting the tourists is called FIP hunting. How can you avoid looking like one? Here’s a short list of telltale behavior.

Driving a foreign car
The state’s economy is based on the domestic auto industry, so Michiganders buy Fords and Chevys. I once saw a Jaguar with Michigan plates in New Buffalo. Fooled no one. The driver was from Posen, Illinois.

Owning a beach house
Lakefront “cottages” go for up to $7 million. Michiganders don’t spend that kind of money; FIPs such as former mayor Richard M. Daley do. Priced-out natives just move to Indiana instead.

Wearing a Stray Dog T-shirt
The Stray Dog is every FIP’s favorite bar, and its raggedy terrier logo is a New Buffalo icon. A bit too iconic. (You can, however, get away with a Cubs cap. U.S. representative Fred Upton, from St. Joseph, is such a huge fan he named his dog Wrigley.)

Jogging on the beach at sunset
Penny Pritzker and her husband trained for the Chicago Marathon at their Harbor Country getaway. In Michigan, “outdoor life” means hunting or fishing.

Mispronouncing Michigan locales
“I want to go up north to drive M-22 in Lee-luh-NOO County and take the ferry to Mack-an-ACK Island,” a clueless FIP might say. Every Michigander knows that “Leelanau” and “Mackinac” rhyme.