I’m a crier — always have been, always will be. Being a particularly moist-eyed adult is fine when you’re, say, at a movie or watching a video of golden retriever puppies wrestling (their faces!). But unfortunately for me, it’s still considered a bit gauche to get openly weepy at your office desk. So over time, I’ve accumulated quite a selection of spots for a discreet workday sob session. Here are my favorites.
1 Food court at the Shops at North Bridge
Pro Headphones in, you can tune out the world; high turnover of fellow diners means you won’t be judged for staying for an hour, two hours …
Con Wiping tears and snot with fast-food napkins is abrasive on delicate nose skin.
Pro Being outside and watching the river can feel calming and meditative.
Con There's a strong chance of being immortalized in a plethora of tourists’ photos from the architecture boat tours and/or having to watch several dogs poop.
3 Bathroom at Block 37
Pro Surprisingly private. There are eight stalls in the basement and never more than one other person in there at a time.
Con The entrance to these is locked after the mall closes at 8 p.m., inevitably when you most need them.
4 Lurie Garden at Millennium Park
Pro The fresh air allows you to blame tears on a pollen allergy.
Con You will overhear at least one child asking her parent, “Why is that lady crying?”
5 Art Institute on a free admission day
Pro Anyone who sees you crying will think you are deeply moved by the Thorne Miniature Rooms.
Con High risk of being surrounded by judgmental teens on field trips
6 Tunnel between Red and Blue lines at Jackson
Pro Outside of rush hour, it's absolutely empty; your cries sound impressive when echoing off the tiled walls and ceiling.
Con Faint yet unmistakable urine smell