JS: When I first moved to Chicago, I lived across from an elementary school. The day a local pizzeria delivered my pie cut into squares, I called it back and said, “Did you send me the wrong pizza? All those little pieces—you sure it’s not supposed to go to the kindergarten across the street?”

CS: Very funny. The smaller squares help you better control your intake. You get just the right amount of pizza—no more, no less. Plus, you get to experience the joy of an outside piece. In one bite you get all the best parts of a pizza: crisp edge and just enough cheese and sauce.

JS: Yeah, and everyone races for the outside until all that’s left is the center. There are always four little greasy squares left in the middle of a pizza box.

CS: Yes, because with a tavern cut, you get to eat around those greasy squares—objectively, the worst part of any pie. 

JS: That sogginess is often because of gravity: You’re putting on veggies and fresh mozzarella, which both have a lot of water. With triangles, the wet middle is usually your first bite, and you can get it over with.

CS: Or, instead, you can just avoid it entirely.

Illustration: John Kenzie